So I just recently got back from Florida and a most wonderful vacation with my family. I have returned home with many happy memories, a wicked sunburn on my shoulders, a rash on my lower back from god knows what (sensitivity to the salt water?) and about 15 of the worst bugbites I've ever had on my legs. I mean those bitches are ITCHY. I wore pants today (as opposed to a skirt for those of you who might've thought I went to work yesterday pantless) so it would be more difficult to scratch them, but to be honest scratching them with the denim of my pants is almost as pleasurable as scratching them with my fingernails.
So I have terrible allergies. One night my body broke out in hives. So I took a benadryl. The next morning I broke out in more hives so Jan decided to take me to the emergency room. Once I knew I was going to the emergency room I gave myself permission to itch. OH GOD IT FELT SO GOOD. The entire time in the car I scratched my legs and arms and stomach. It. Was. Heaven.
I am pretty sure there are few things in the world that feel as good as scratching your bug bites. I have decided to make a list here of what I believe those things to be.
1) Peeing when you have held it for a SUPER long time and thought you were gonna burst.
2) Falling asleep when you are super tired.
3) Getting kissed on your neck. Come on. That shit's rockin.
4) Petting dogs. Did I mention I pet 3 dogs last week? Yeah. I did. And this morning I made eye contact with a beagle who wanted me to pet him. It was awesome.