Friday, June 10, 2011

"My Mission Statement is to BE GAY." - Heather Pamplemousse, Pride 2010

Well, my neck feels better today. Which is appropriate cause tomorrow is going to involve a lot of joy, a lot of dancing, a lot of yelling, a lot of obtaining free stuff, and a lot of GAY. Oh yes. Tomorrow is Pride. And if there is anything in the world about which I have feelings, it is Pride.

I would like to tell you all of my history with the gays.

The first gay boy I ever knew was in High School. His name was Jason Friend, and he had glorious red hair. He was a junior when he came out, and I was a senior. I remember thinking how brave he was.

Fast forward to summer between freshman and sophomore year of college. My older brother Mark dies in a plane crash. Everything changed. And though this is pretty heavy for "Things Deb Loves" his death was the saddest and most enlightening experience of my life. When someone you love dies, your whole world shifts. And though I oftentimes still dream he is alive again and wake up crying, I do believe that part of the reason I can be the person I am today, youthful and chock full of some pretty crazy intense feelings, is because he died, and because I, and every member of my family, was left in the world without him.

Fast forward to summer between sophomore and junior year of college. I was a counselor at a Girl Scout camp. I was still completely broken over Mark's death. But it was this summer that I started to heal. What does this have to do with gays, you ask? Well, the majority of the women counselors were lesbians. So I started to associate lesbians with a feeling of acceptance, with the concept that human freedom is a possibility, and with healing. Why does Deb want a lesbian daughter? Because of that summer. Well that, and this... 

(Be prepared for a rant. If you don't want to hear it skip the following paragraph. I promise to put a cute picture and talk about my two moms at the end)

Pride, in my mind, is not just about being gay. It is about people allowing themselves to be what they are, even if it goes against the norm. It is about bravely saying, (a la Gaga) I was born this way. And if you don't like it, I don't give a fuck. I think everyone should adopt this 'tude. Not to say we shouldn't change and grow and become better people. But there are things we can't control. And life would be better, not only if we accepted those things, but if we CELEBRATED them. I am fat and emotional. I can't help these things. I've tried to be thin and stoic my whole life to no avail. So, on Saturday, in addition to celebrating some of my dearest friends who happen to be gay, I am celebrating the right of every human being in the world who does not fit into some unrealistic heteronormative cultural mold to be exactly what they are. Right then. Gay or straight or bi or trans or queer or fat or emotional or stoic or whatever.

Man, I have EXTRA feelings today. But this weekend, and every other, I am proud to feel deeply about the concept of humans being free and joyous

just like these dudes (speaking of things I love).

As promised. Cute picture. Two Moms.

 Sometimes, when I look at pictures of Dee and H they are just so cute I want to print off the picture and eat the paper it was printed on. I bet it would taste delicious. Like salted, dark chocolate and love. 



  1. So that's how you spell Pamplemousse

  2. So awesome my little sister! You are bold and beautiful!
    You know how I feel about my gay friends and this speaks
    beautifully to it! Also, you know we all miss Marky every day!!
    There is still a hole from when he left, I cry still wishing he was
    still here with us in physical form! Love you


    Your Big Sis
    Caroline :o)