Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I am now going to complain about something really dumb.

So I love skirts/dresses/tights. I also love being hydrated. But the combination of the two is just not conducive to ease when it comes to peeing. For example, today I am wearing my new bird dress which I love. But it requires that I wear tights (as it's cold and rainy out today) as well as a slip so that the dress doesn't stick to the tights. Also my dress is made up of a long camisole dress type thing and then the chiffon-y dress part with the actual bird print (there are probably technical terms for all this crap that I don't know). In addition the actual dress part ties in the back which means there are strings dangling by my butt. All of this combined makes for a very difficult bathroom experience.

1) Lift slip and skirt

2) Get the tights down just enough so I don't pee on myself but not so much that I have to work hard to pull them up.

3) Pull the back of both skirts over my head so that the ties in the back don't fall in the toilet.

4) Do business without letting the skirts pulled over head also fall into toilet with ties.

5) Pull up underpants.

6) Work hard to pull up tights (even though you hardly pulled them down to avoid this).

7) Pull down and adjust slip.

8) Adjust long camisole thing.

9) Adjust actual bird dress.

And then do this every hour.

It is a choice I make, but is it obnoxious as hell.

The End.


  1. I recommend holding the top layers, plus ties from the back, gathered in your left hand and maybe on your lap while in action. No need to pull up over your head.

  2. I suggest:
    1. ditch the underpants
    2. wear thick sweater-type tights, at least 2 sizes too big (easier to pull up and down, plus more opaque if too big)
    3. tie the dress, then have a friend cut the strings shorter once it's on

    you're welcome. the end.