Thursday, December 2, 2010

Brussel Sprouts

Hi friends. It's been a while. I could waste time apologizing but I have too many feelings for that.

Oh man. Even looking at them makes me salivate. You cut those babies in half, olive oil, garlic, sea salt, roast that crap in the oven, DONE. Last night my friend Nicole (Empress of All Things Awesome) made two large dishes of brussel sprouts. I almost pooped my pants I was so happy. And she sent me home with some of those little nuggets of joy.

Since it's been a while, I would also like to share that I love this man:

OK. So he's a douchebag. But I can't stop listening to his new album. I actually think it has improved my self-esteem to listen to it, because sometimes, while listening to it, I imagine I am black and that has always been my dream. I maintain I was born the incorrect race. So, while listening to the album I imagine I am black and that makes me feel better about myself.

 While I'm on the subject of being awesome and African-American I'd like to discuss this woman:

She is the best singer on Glee. Yeah, Rachel is good. But Mercedes is better. And she has gotten the SHAFT this season. She sang that Florence + the Machine song this week (which, BTW, if I had a blog of things I thought were all right but felt slightly indifferent towards Florence + the Machine would be featured) but come on! Give the girl something she can sing that crap out of, for Christ's sake.

Also, what's with her not getting a boyfriend when EVERY OTHER GIRL on the show has one? I think Ryan Murphy is a size-ist. I think Mercedes doesn't have a boyfriend because she is big. But this blog is not called, "Things that Piss me the F*** Off." This blog is not called "Rant about TV shows that I love cause they have singing and dancing and in the first season were awesome but now are slightly mediocre and are terribly written and have plots that make no sense." This blog is about things I love.

So I will end on a happy note.

The Empress of all Things Awesome got a pole in her apartment. Like a pole-dancing pole. And she swings around it like a sexy monkey. And when my shoulder gets better, I am going to learn how to swing around it like a sexy monkey too. And then I am going to invite Mercedes to come swing around the pole with me. And Dee's manatees. And Dee and Heather in their wetsuits. And we are going to have a sexy monkey party. And Nicole aka the Empress of all Things Awesome will make us all Brussel Sprouts.


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