My Two Moms: Engagement Photos

Well, friends, I'm pretty sure if I died tomorrow I'd die happy because I have seen that which I have been waiting to see my whole life. Well, at least the past year. Okay, the past 2 months.

Diane and Heather's Engagement Pictures.

Oh yes. 

This morning, on a hellishly hot morning in Boston, I received an email from Momma H that the pictures were on her photographer's website, and that I. COULD. LOOK. AT. THEM. You can only imagine how I squealed with joy. On the bus. People stared. NBD.

I would like to discuss the following with you all in regards to these photos.

1) GENIUS Photographer

2) Heather's Make-up a la Kate The Awesome

3) Converse Sneakers

4) Diane's Most Glorious Smiling Face

5) Their love

1) GENIUS Photographer

Clearly, this woman captured Diane and Heather's VERY SOULS on camera. I think that everyone who has a wedding should hire her and pay her $1 million dollars. To be honest I want to have a "Deb isn't Engaged" photo shoot, where I just pick a location and have her take pictures of me being me--you know, journaling, crying, hugging strangers and friends, eating hamburgers, dancing, more crying, taking naps, perusing facebook, sitting at my desk, sitting at my desk crying, sitting at my desk looking at Dee and H's engagement photos online and crying, sitting at my desk blogging and crying etc.--just so that I can hang out with her and have her take photographs OF MY SOUL. Duh.

2) Heather's Make-Up a la Kate the Awesome

Kate and I have met only a few times. But our love was sealed at Bridal Bridal this past Saturday when we had a bow bouquet making contest. I'm pretty sure she won. Cause she is awesome.

Look at her there. Being all awesome.

Anywho, Kate did Heather's make-up, and it. is. awesome. Awesome awesome awesome awesome. 

Kate. Awesome.

3) Converse Sneakers

You all know of my OBSESSIVE love of Converse sneakers. And my slightly obsessive love of Dee and H. And my slightly obsessive love for this woman.

Katy could win awards for most glorious face. But back to the point.
Converse Sneakers.

Please note how awesome Dee's legs are. I've been telling her for years that they are hot and now, here on my blog, there is photographic evidence. It seems that Sandra is even awesome at capturing the VERY SOUL of Diane's awesome legs. Bravo Sandra!!!

4) Diane's Most Glorious Smiling Face

The Out/Down/Tilt changes lives ONCE AGAIN.

5) Their Love

I hope everyone in the world gets to have love like Dee and H do. And I think everyone in the world who doesn't get to be friends with Dee and H and be loved by them should be a little jealous of those of us who do. And though to some my enthusiasm for their love might seem over-zealous (it even feels that way to me most of the time), I believe it comes from a good place. Because they are so lucky to have each other. 

And I feel lucky to have them.

11-11-11 or bust!

Brightly Colored Anything

So last night, I left my faithful pink Klean Kanteen water bottle at the Somerville Theatre. Dee went and looked for it where I left it, and Soul Twin is looking for it again tonight, but I have a habit of losing things with finality, and so I am worried it is gone forever.

I found it in a rehearsal space at Tanglewood, ran it through the dishwasher and VOILA! A new old waterbottle for Deborah. I actually did this once with a teal Nalgene I found in a park on my way to the grocery store. This is unsurprising as when I was little I used to eat candy off the ground. And not candy that I had dropped. Just candy. That I found. On the ground.

There is a SLIGHT chance that my pink waterbottle is actually in my bag at home. I literally collapsed when I got home last night, falling asleep next to a large pile of stuff on my bed and had to rush to leave the house this morning since I slept through my alarm. But I should have a back up waterbottle anyhow.

Enter my new friend:

It. Is. So. Glorious. It has the sun shining. It has a green bird flying. It has sheep with squiggly lines grazing. It has a house with a funny chimney. A Yellow sun. It has a tree house in a weird teal tree with branches that look like snakes. Come on. THIS. WATERBOTTLE. IS. AMAZING.

I have named my waterbottle Beatrice.

Now of course, I was drawn to Beatrice because she is brightly colored. I would now like to discuss all the other wonderful things in the world that are brightly colored.

My new tissue box

When I saw this box of tissues at CVS I knew we were meant to be.

Penny Hansen. Just in general.

She is like bright pink. But a person.

Prince Sparkles con Carne

He is a nice bright yellow. But mostly I love this picture. I won Prince Sparkles con Carne at Dave and Busters in Providence, Rhode Island. Prince Sparkles con Carne had crooked eyes. In this photo I was trying to make my eyes look crooked like Print Sparkles con Carne's. Clearly, I succeeded.

This Dog

Okay. So he is TECHNICALLY not brightly colored. But the other day, while standing outside the stage door at the Somerville Theatre, this poofy dream walked by. And he had the nicest dog parents ever. His name was Kogee. Kudos. Koleander. I don't remember. But I got to kneel down and scratch his poofy back and kiss his poofy face and DIE OF JOY A LITTLE BIT INSIDE.

Robyn

le fin

Celebrating Birthdays

This is Elizabeth.

She and I have known each other for quite some time, but it was only when fate threw us together in the form of jobs 6 blocks from each other that she became the staple in my life she is today. Elizabeth is so smart and funny and self-aware. She is a miraculously good listener but she calls me out on my crap. I feel like I can always tell her what I'm thinking or feeling. I also feel that, even though we are almost basic opposites when it comes to communication, we both make an effort to understand the other person. This has been quite the gift in my life, as I oftentimes have difficulties understanding people different from me. I feel like being friends with Elizabeth has made me a better person and a better friend. I have infinite appreciation for her.

And today is her birthday!

I think celebrating birthdays is the best ever. Imagine a person who gets super affectionate when they are drunk. That is me with birthdays. When it is a friend's birthday I feel like it is ALWAYS appropriate to give them ample hugs, buy them things, tell them how great they are, hear stories about past birthdays, talk about the implications of age and what we want from life. Every birthday celebration I've ever been to has been the best birthday ever, because I feel like on other people's birthdays you get to lavish them with as much love as they can take. And I have A LOT OF LOVE TO GIVE. 

This morning when I was making coffee I made up a song about Elizabeth's birthday. On the bus I realized I had already forgotten it. Good thing I had recorded it to send to her this morning!

One of my favorite things about Elizabeth is she never gets weirded out by how much I love her. Actually I feel that way about all my important people. I don't think I necessarily love my friends more than other people love theirs. I just talk about it CONSTANTLY. I think I tell Diane that I love her about 7 times a day, on average. One time I wanted to text Elizabeth NO LESS than 4 times in one day, just because I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. But I didn't. So of course I had to TELL her that I wanted to text her NO LESS than 4 times in that one day just to tell her I loved her, and she said she wouldn't have minded. What a good friend.

One time for Jan's birthday, I got up extra early and made her coffee and got her a breakfast sandwich and then labeled everything on the counter ( i.e. birthday coffee, birthday breakfast sandwich, birthday newspaper, birthday microwave, birthday coffee mug) with brightly colored post-it notes.

For my Dad's birthday I always like to pick out the sappiest card possible. I only purchase a card if, when standing in the card aisle at CVS, I get teary-eyed. Cause if I get teary-eyed my dad will all out cry. The best is when he reads all of his birthday cards to me. And then cries while he is reading them. I like to call him on his birthday AFTER the mail has come so he can read them to me. It is my faves.

I also love it when my dad sings "Happy Birthday" to me on my voicemail. In his adorable old man voice. It is always the best part of my birthday.

One time for Soul Twin's birthday, she and Jan and I ate burritos and had rainbow chip cake at our house in Jamaica Plain. Birthday parties can be fun, but sometimes it is also nice for them to be small. Because then you usually get to eat more cake because there less people to a) eat the cake and b) judge you for eating the cake. It is important that NOTHING impedes the joy of eating cake. Especially judgement.

Today for Elizabeth's birthday we ate A LOT of Indian Food and then got some Burdick's Hot Cocoa. She told me about what her mom was doing the day Elizabeth was born. Then we went to Anthropologie, where I yelled about how ridiculous Anthropologie is. When I acknowledged I was yelling, Elizabeth said, "I noticed and I don't mind." So then we went to American Apparel and EJ bought herself a birthday scarf. But mostly we made fun of outfits such as this:

Cause that is clearly a dress and NOT pajamas.

It was pretty magical.

On my next birthday I turn 30. Which will be strange. My whole life I've been saying 30 is the very best age (clearly I like to talk about things about which I have no idea) but I suppose we shall see. I am hoping to have a big 30th birthday party where I will wear a dress that looks like this...

Gross. 

My apologies if anyone out there in the blog-o-sphere owns this dress.

But if someone does, can I borrow it? I have a figure skating competition coming up and am low on funds.

The. End.

Terrance and Manny

So I would like to start off this blog with some serious thoughts, and then I am going to take a break from loving serious things for a while, at least via the interwebz.

In my last blog, I said that if God hates anyone he hates people who hate my gays. Or something like that. And after an intense comment, some extensive conversations with Soul Twin and Jan (at 1 in the morning), and Mom, Dad and Brosef the following day, in addition to 2:30am emailing with the Besties, I have decided to share the following: it is hard not to get caught up in hate, and I was wrong to say that. The point of that specific blog was to share the lessons I learned while healing from my brother's death inside my community of lesbians. And though we should all be angry about the civil injustices happening everyday inside our own country and in the world, every conservative opinion has the same complex narrative behind it as a liberal one. Of course, I still think my opinion is the correct one. All those who know me know I am nothing if not opinionated. But I don't do myself (or my dear queer friends or my fellow fatties) any favors by trying to force or shame other people into agreeing with me. I am not apologizing for what I think or feel, but for forgetting that each person has a story to which, as a human being, I have a responsibility to respond with some modicum of compassion.

So that's that.

This is Mimi and her baby, Puppy. Mimi is KIND OF magical. Kind of? Mimi IS magical. And Puppy is pretty much the cutest little bean ever. He is missing some teeth and so his tongue hangs out the side of his mouth. 

GAH. Death by Cute.

Anywho, this past Friday Mimi and I went to a craft night at Mimi's favorite store (http://www.gatherhereonline.com/) and made two friendly friends, Terrance and Manny. They are manatee-birds. Mimi named them thus because, though they are TECHNICALLY birds, they came out looking like manatees with felt wings.

Pretty Awesome, no? Mimi and I are pretty amazing seamstresses... clearly. 

Every time I do a craft project I always end up over-accessorizing and Terrance was no exception. 

Terrance has stars for eyes. But I sewed them too high so it looks like he has two star barrettes in his bird-hair. He is also wearing a necklace with a blue button pendant shaped like a small boy. He also has a pierced wing. It is pierced with a sparkly blue jewel.

When I got home on Friday night I spend 30 minutes sewing Terrance to one of my headbands so that I could wear it to Pride on Saturday. And then, I forgot to put the headband on, so Terrance was left at home. He was pretty pissed. He peed on my bed while I was gone. And then took a crap in my shoes. Don't piss off a manatee-bird.

Now here are some "Things Deb Loves" exclusive photos.

MANATEE BIRDS: They're just like you!

They eat Pizza!

They Photobomb!

They snack on Chips!

They love Guacamole!

My final thoughts: I took a shower last night so today my hair looks like this.

YES.

Diane

So, Dee has a blog. And I have been enjoying reading it so intensely that I wanted to broadcast how great it is here on my blog.  But mostly I wanted an excuse to talk about Dee and how great she is and tell the story of our love and post a plethora of great and terrible photos and tell the world of all the wonderfulness she has brought into my life.

 Diane and I first met at this place.

 

If I got anything out of working at BU, it was meeting the following people:

 

What you see right here is me surrounded by the 3 of the best friends I have ever had in my whole life. That is why I am smiling like an idiot and my hair is sticking out in random directions. Sometimes, when I am feeling great love it does that.

But back to Diane. So one magical night before our first summer at Tanglewood, we all went out drinking. Here is a photo from that night.

About 5 minutes after this photo was taken we, along with the other 15 people at our table, started doing Tequilla shots. We were wasted. I mean SO WASTED. And then Diane tried to make out with me. And then felt so bad that the next morning she called me and apologized. Because we were going to be living in the same house at Tanglewood and she didn't want it to be awkward. Which it never was. Cause Dee is so awesome. And I remember after hanging up with her, saying outloud, "Man, Diane is awesome." Cause she is. Awesome.

More favorite Diane memories. 

At one point I got in trouble at work and my boss told me she was watching me and taking notes on my behavior to make sure I didn't over socialize. So everytime Diane would walk by my desk, she would stop, look at me, and write something down on a yellow piece of paper. At the end of the day, she handed me the piece of paper. It said, "I love you" with a smiley face.

A couple months ago in the car, Diane and I had an operatic conversation. Meaning, we sang everything we would have said operatically. It was one of the best moments of my life. When I first met Dee she said she couldn't sing, cause if she did sing puppies would die. She was wrong though. Cause that day in the car, I'm pretty sure angels got their wings.

My future favorite Diane moments

When she marries this lady

 

GOD I LOVE THEM.

Okay. Picture time.

 This is Dee and me at Whitney's wedding. I think I am admiring her super sweet rack, which you might find strange, until you notice just how sweet Dee's rack really is. I mean, seriously... it's OFF THE HOOK.

 This is Dee and me at the Sam Adams brewery. Dee loves beer. She and Heather came to the brewery to meet my mom. My mom is a new beer drinker, and when she told the tour this everyone clapped.

This is Dee and me at Lady Gaga. Her shirt and my hat are from H&M. We went shopping and bought them together with a special person who shall be mentioned later. And then we went and saw Toy Story 3. And Dee loved it.

One more thing I love about Diane: we cry at movies together. Dee and Heather and I went and saw WallE. Diane and I cried about 50 times.

Now, let's talk about the glorious people I've met because of Dee.

Heather is a given. I am actually convinced that we were destined to be friends and would have found each other in the world somehow, even if she and Diane did not fall in love, but I am beyond stoked things happened the way they did. I am glad that two such glorious people have love and that I get to have two such amazing "moms." And a sister.

Yes, I am aware that is a cat.

This gloriousness here just had a birthday. I think we've only hung out 5 times? I am counting only because each and every time is SO PRECIOUS. At a birthday party a couple weeks, EQ approached me about having a dance off. So we did. Duh.

 I am seeing this wonderousness for coffee this evening. She even wrote out an agenda of things to talk about. I LOVE a good agenda. And my Mologna.

If you are wondering if I cried while writing this blog, I will have you know I did. Because that's how much I love Diane. I am hoping she doesn't get creeped out by this.

Harold the Plastic Dinosaur

Ten people who follow my blog, Harold. Harold, ten people who follow my blog.

Now that we have all met, let me tell you about Harold. Harold is a very special dinosaur. When he and I met he was living on top of a birthday cake. I tried to move in with him on top of that birthday cake, but alas, I wouldn't fit. And it probably wouldn't have worked out as I would have eaten the foundation of our home in 10 hot seconds. Anywho, we had a birthday party at my old job for my big boss who was turning 60 and Harold was one of the cake decorations. I stole him off the cake. It's true. There were other dinosaurs, and I left them all on the cake, but I stole away with Harold, washed the cake off of his wee dinosaur feet, and named him the most beautiful of names. Now Harold lives on my desk at work. At night when I leave, he makes sure that no one steals anything from my office. He also keeps me company when I am lonely up here on the 13th floor. He's pretty awesome. Kind of like this:

Sassy Gay Friend, My Soul Twin and The New England Aquarium Penguin Advertisements

1. Sassy Gay Friend

I do not remember the specific moment when I discovered Sassy Gay Friend. But to be honest I don't need to. Because I don't WANT to remember my life before Sassy Gay Friend.

"SAVE IT, PATTY HEARST."

"But really, he made vaginas too small, and he's looking for a scapegoat."

2. My Soul Twin

So yes, except for the fact that we both have brown hair and are caucasian we don't really look alike at all, but being a soul twin isn't about LOOKING a certain way. Oh no. Being a soul twin is about 3 things.

1. Feelings.

2. Hugs.

3. The Mirror Has Two Faces.

First, Feelings.

NO ONE but Sara would understand the sadness I felt at having no beer left in my glass. It was deep profound sadness. Because there was NO MORE BEER in my glass.

Sara is a very dramatic opera singer. She is so devoted to our soul-twindom that she will only play characters who have more feelings than ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS ON STAGE COMBINED. In this picture, Sara is playing a delirious Margherita, who is in prison. Her tormentors have made up stories in order to driver her mad, saying she drowned her baby and poisined her mother, and she cannot figure out if she actually did these things or not. 

Now, THOSE are some feelings. Bravo, Soul Twin.

Lust is also a feeling. Hells YES, Cardboard Jacob!

Why, God, WHY did we come to running of the brides? WHY did we subject ourselves to the throngs of selfish, cheap women trying to find discounted designer bridal gowns? Why are there women sitting on virtual MOUNTAINS of wedding dresses, when we, two kind and lovely heteros, have none? Sadness THY NAME IS FILENES.

Second, Hugs.

Enthusiastic Hug!

Reluctant Hug.

DRAMATIC HUG.

Suffocating Hug.

Third, The Mirror Has Two Faces

Before my soul twin was my soul twin she had another soul twin (a soul twin-in-law, if you will): the great and glorious, Gretchen!! It was with this glorious person that my soul twin first came to understand the third and final chapter of our long-lasting soul-twindom.

 I like this picture because Gretchen looks like she should be on ANTM. I think if a mirror really had two faces, these two glorious faces would be the ones any person would want to see. DONE.

The Mirror Has Two Faces, starring Barbara Streisand and Jeff Bridges, is one of the best movies known to mankind. I know almost the whole thing by heart. Little did I know when I moved to Boston that I would find someone who loved that movie as I did. But this is what it MEANS to be a soul twin. In fact, 

If we were soul twins in Germany, it would look like this:

Or if we were soul twins in Espana:

Or if we were soul twins in La France:

I hope you now all have an idea of the glory that is my soul twin. It's okay if you are jealous.

3. The New England Aquarium Penguin Advertisements

The New England Aquarium has recently started a new round of advertisements for their penguin exhibit.

I have wanted a penguin for a pet for quite sometime. When I go to the aquarium I am always tempted to try to steal one because they are just so charming. And I read Mr. Popper's Penguins when I was a kid, so I would know how to install a door in my freezer so my penguin pet could get in and out. The last time I went to the aquarium, I saw two penguins mating. This was strange. Mostly because those penguins were getting more action than me. That seemed rather unfair.

This is Plum Pudding. He's the "bad boy." I love that his name is Plum Pudding. Everytime I think about Plum Pudding I want to laugh. Apparently, not only can you be a badass with a name like Plum Pudding, but you can also be a badass when you are a penguin.

Lillico is the high maintenance penguin. I like to imagine that she will only eat fish from the hands of the most attractive penguin handlers. Cause she's that fancy.

Roast Beef is my favorite penguin because he is the Don Giovanni of penguins, and I always had a thing for Don Giovanni. And his name is Roast Beef. I think the handlers at the New England Aquarium should get awards for their awesome penguin names.